Having a baby is a game changer, enough said. Becoming a mother is the best role I've ever been given. The most surreal feeling is holding your baby, looking at each other for the first time...its a moment i'll never forget. Learning how to take care of this small incredible person was scary at first. I was so unsure of myself, was he too hot, too cold... how the heck do you swaddle? The days pass and you just 'know'. You begin trust yourself. You trust that you can do it. In the beginning it is a lot to take in. Becoming a mother means you can now multitask. Feeding the baby while feeding yourself, no problem. Singing songs, holding your baby in one hand and trying to fold the laundry with the other is easy. Becoming a mother means you are someone else's whole world. When I realized this it gave me such a sense of purpose in my new role as 'mama'.
However, sometimes it is so easy to feel like you are failing. There are days when you'll be so tired but I'm learning that it's okay. I'm learning that piles of laundry, dishes in the sink and my ever growing to-do list can wait. It can all wait. Because what i'm doing now, raising a son is what needs to be focused on. Since having my son it has taught me to be present. To focus on what is important, spending quality time with loved ones.
Taking the time to make art has been hard. It is only recently that I started to get back into the swing of things. I found that as much as I want to work on large paintings, I don't have the time at the moment. I started to work in a small watercolor sketchbook, creating one sketch a day. It was actually my husbands idea. I'm excited to bring all of my small ideas, little tastes of inspiration into this small sketchbook and hopefully this summer while i'm not teaching, take these sketches and turn them into larger paintings.
So here is to being a mom. Here is to loving each moment of every day I get to love and serve my little human. Here is learning that the little things really don't matter. And, here is to not giving up on what you hold dear to you.